Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Savannah's Guidline's to a Drama-Free Life

I recently picked up a copy of Seventeen magazine for the first time and discovered that its not such a bad influence on young girls as I was always lead to believe. It diffidently shares little of the mindset of Christ, and I wouldn't recommend it to my teenage girl, but the magazine actually has some pretty positive and empowering things in there for girls. I read and browsed through it for an hour, and inside I found messages shouting out to young teenage girls such as, be confidant! You are beautiful! You are unique! Pursue you're impossible dreams wholeheartedly because anything is possible! and if you haven't kissed anyone before, you're NOT the only one. 40% of girls your age have never been kissed. One article written by a young movie star, Chloe Grace Moretz, on Friendship Rules to Live By tells of all the rules and precautions she takes when choosing her friends and setting herself up for a drama free life. Being someone who sometimes feels like shes the only person in the world who has a drama-free life, and looking at the media and seeing nothing but drama, I was quite curious, as you may be, as to what she had to say. These are her rules:
  • Pick people who make you better.
  • Create cool friendship traditions
  • Guys and Girls can be friends...but don't hook up with your BGF.
  • Figure out you're deal breakers.
  • Don't give second chances.
  • Always stand up to bullies
  • Sometimes secrets are okay.
  • Make sure family comes first
At first these sounded great! And then I realized I have always had a drama-free life and I have never lived by any of these rules. I realized that all her rules do is kick the drama out rather than create a place where drama can not live or even come to in the first place. Her rules are all things that sound great to the world, but this is not at all what Jesus tells us is the best way. When love is the basis of your friendships drama wont even be able to enter your circle.
Here is Savannah and Jesus' version Chloe Grace Moretz friendship rules.
Pick people you can loveLooking back on all my friends I have ever had, I have never picked someone for what they could do for me. I've always picked friends who seemed to me like they needed a friend. I never go to the popular kids who its seems everyone likes, wanting to be their friend. I've always chosen the person who is by themselves. These are people whom I know will usually receive the love I give them, and most importantly the people who need someone to love them; the ones that need to know that they are loved.

"He has sent Me to heal the broken hearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to
the blind,
set at liberty those who are oppressed"
Jesus - Luke 4:18
Guys and girls should always be friends...If you discover that you are in love with one, and feelings are mutual, hook up.Not as catchy as Chloe's version, but diffidently true. If you are looking for a serious relationship (in my opinion its dumb and immature to look for anything else), than you better be best friends before you get into a relationship. I've talked to so many girls who have told me how they don't know if they should get into a relationship or not with a certain guy, and they have only known each other for a couple months. I always tell them there is nothing wrong with being friends. Especially if you're not sure if you want to pursue a serious relationship with that person or not. Friends is actually a GREAT place to be. This is you're opportunity to simply get to know that person without any pressure or expectations that might come along with "being in a relationship". If you can simply be best friends with a guy for a good amount of time than maybe you could live the rest of you're life with him. If you can't do that, than don't even think about "being in a relationship". It wont end well.
I was friends with my boyfriend for 1.5years before we officially became "in a relationship", and even after that, nothing really changed, except we had an excuse to spend much more time together, and do more things for each other, and say cute romantic things to each other. We didn't even call each other "boyfriend" "girlfriend" for nearly the first two years, and even now we don't really like to do it. Because we're just friends. Even now after over 2 years of being in a relationship I can rejoicingly proclaim that Andrew is my best friend, and I wouldn't want to go on the adventures of this life with any other than him!  And this isn't something just me and Andrew share. I have seen and talked to and read about countless couples who claim they have married their best friend, and would prefer to call their husband for 40years their "best friend" rather than their husband. Guy friends are always a blessing, and if you get an eternal best friend out of one, so be it. Its an even bigger blessing!
Don't have deal breakers&always give second chances
Jesus always shows us unconditional love. His friends were liars, thieves, drunkards, prostitutes, tax-collectors, and stinky fisherman. He trusted a thief with money, and a betrayer with his heart and his life. No, things didn't end up to well for Jesus because of this...He got beaten, embarrassed, and crucified (to put it lightly), but in the end it was worth it. In the end the love which he loved his friends was stronger than their weaknesses, sin, and mistakes, and His love set them free. No you're not Jesus, but Jesus lives inside you, and the same love that saved and healed the whole world is inside of you're heart, and with that love anything is possible!
The bottom line: You're friendships aren't for you, its for them. If people have to come to you to be your friend on your terms, you will have some problems.
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them."
Jesus - Luke 6:32
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Jesus - Luke 7:47

Always love bullies
I honestly don't really have any experience with this, so the only thing I will say here is what Jesus said.
"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:36
Always be there - no matter what
Everybody needs friends who will not choose themselves over their friendship. Everyone needs a friend they can count on. Everyone needs friends where if they are in trouble, have a problem, or they need help, that friend will do anything within their power to be there for them, and help them as best they can. YOU CAN BE THAT FRIEND! Its easy! And the fact is if your heart is to be there for them and not at all for yourself, your friend will know it. They will always trust you, it will be much harder (if not impossible) for them to get mad at you, and you will rarely ever fight. How could you when your first priority is to be there for them?
Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Jesus - Mark 12:31
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." A disciple of Jesus - 1 John 3:16
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." A disciple of Jesus - Romans 12:10
The bottom line is love. The only reason that drama ever happens is because someone wasn't loving. Someone was being selfish and thinking of themselves before their friends and family. You have to come to a place where even if you poor your heart out for someone and get NOTHING in return from them, you are still going to love them, and be there for them. Of course I wouldn't recommend such a relationship (but that's between you and God), but to have that mindset where you don't expect anything from that person, and what's on the front burner of your mind and your heart is to benefit your friend's life no matter what, is the place you want to get to. That's called un-conditional-drama-free love. And its easy when Jesus - the name of that love - is inside your heart.

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Disiple of Jesus - Romans 12:18

No comments:

Post a Comment