Thursday, December 30, 2010
The first part of this quote by Bill Johnson is probably the best definition of hope that I've ever heard, and the second part is something that has encouraged me, and at the same time I have questioned if its really true. But by what the Bible says and my own experience, Its been proven that this is quite true. If there is anything in my life that I do not look at with joyful anticipation, then I am believing a lie.
Earlier today, I had very little hope at all. There was no real love in my heart for most of the people I was around, I didn't want to change the world, I didn't want to love people, and all I wanted to do were things that would make me feel comfortable. This was the result of not continually renewing my mind. All of these things show that I didn't have hope, and that I was believing lies. The Bible says that the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor as our self [Matt 22:39]. We can not do this without hope. I was remembering earlier today when I looked at a person, I did not look at them with joyful anticipation of good. I did not look at them with hope. My mindset at that time was possessed by a lie that people don't really matter, and I am powerless to help them, and what will happen in their lives will happen. It said, whatever problems they have I'm probably right in there with them. Those are the lies that took away my hope for people and for myself. This is just one example.
I once heard my friend, Dennis Bontrager say, "Everyone wants hope. That's why Obama is president." and as I took a look at the Bible, I soon realized that the gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ is hope. Over and over again in the gospels hope is encouraged, and in many cases the word "hope" is even used in the place of "Jesus":
"And now I stand and am judged for the hope of the promise made by God to our fathers. To this promise our twelve tribes, earnestly serving God night and day, hope to attain. For this hope's sake, King Agrippa, I am accused by the Jews."~ Acts 26:6-7 [emphasis added]
Hope, rejoicing and 'looking forward' to what is to come is continually encouraged throughout the New Testament. I think I've often looked at this as simply 'encouragement', and never realized that to the authors of those books, 'hope' was quite tangible. Hope isn't just to think better about your rotten circumstances, but it is an actually reality. We can joyfully anticipate good in every area of our lives because "anything is possible for him who believes," [Mark 9:23], and as Paul so clearly puts it,
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." [Acts 15:13] [emphasis added]
We should have joyful anticipation of good wherever we go, whatever we do, and whomever we encounter. If we don't we are believing a lie and need to renew our minds.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Its been said many time by Christians everywhere, "Lord, I want to know you more." Let me tell you you will not know him more by telling him such things. If you truly desire to know the heart of God, then get out into the places where un-churched people are, because according to the Bible, and my own experience, this is where the heart of God is.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
As many of you know, I left Eureka, to go to the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, Ca. It was an exciting move, and I made many good friends, but it wasn’t long before I realized that the school was not what I wanted. All I wanted was a raw and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, unhindered and not influenced by religion, or a need to perform. I realized I couldn’t get that in Redding, so I moved in with Sue Ellen and Dennis in San Jose, California. Just so you all know, I prayed a lot about this before I made the decision and got the counseling of several different people as well. Now I’m having the time of my life just perusing the heart of God!
In my short life I’ve discovered by my own experience and by the word of God, that one of God’s favorite things to do is love on people who don’t know his love. So we often go to the mall and show people the love of God. We especially enjoy loving on and building relationships with the employees and managers so we not only give them an encounter with God, but can come back and teach them what to do with that encounter as well.
The other day we went to the mall, and we were going from shop to shop talking to the managers and employees, and telling them that if they need healing or a miracle in their lives to come down to the food court, because that’s were our church meets (we got permission from the mall to do this). One of the stores we went into was a shoe store, and the manager asked that we wait until he wasn’t busy and pray for him. So we wait awhile. While we were waiting we talked to an employee. We ended up sitting him down on a chair, having him put his legs out so we could see if they were the same size. The left leg was about an inch shorter than the right. One of the guys I was with said, “left leg grow out.” And it grew out instantly. The guy’s friend insisted it was a trick, so we sat the guy down again, and asked him if he wanted to be taller. He said yes, so we commanded each leg individually to grow out, and they did. About an inch each. The friend didn’t really know what to say to that.
We got tiered of waiting, so we left, and found a Mexican guy who was walking with a cane. He couldn’t speak much English, but he communicated that he had pain in nearly every joint in his body. So after we prayed, his wife took his cane from him, and he started to walk. He turns around and says, “bueno, muy bueno.” I will never forget the look on his face. It was the look you only see when people are encountered by love. I asked if anyone else in his family needed prayer. His wife had back pain. So I told the pain to go, and commanded the back to be healed, and it was, and the lady’s eyes were filled with tears. Her grand daughter (the only one who spoke English), translated that her grandma had felt something come over her when I prayed. It was the Holy Ghost. We all gave praise to Jesus, gave hugs goodbye, and went on our way. We watched the littlest granddaughter dance away with her grandfather’s cane, and big smiles on everyone’s face.
It was amazing for me to see that even though we couldn’t have a conversation with them, we could communicate to them the love of Jesus, and the goodness of God. I know we changed their lives, and we didn’t even have to speak their language, because no matter our ethnicity, religion, language, background, we were all made for the same thing: the unconditional love of Jesus Christ.
We returned to the shoe shop and the manager nearly yells at us for leaving. He insisted again we stay until we can pray for him. So we did. He wanted us to pray for his son who had a broken leg, and for his business. He didn’t consider himself a Christian, but he certainly believed. We prayed, and even though we didn’t see instant change, I know we will hear good news next time we see him. He was deeply touched, and I know we had just met another brother in Christ.
There are many other similar stories. People are frequently being saved and added into the kingdom! Its amazing that this is what we get to be apart of. I feel like a matchmaker. All I do is hook people up with Jesus.
I'll try and post more about whats going on everyday.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Its rainy here in California, and the cozy sweater my sister, Catherine, gave me for my birthday last year feels very much like a hug from her. Its been a good all-day hug, Caddy. I'm very hesitant to let it end, and may just sleep in it as well. A dozen candles are lit around the house. The ultimate feeling is stillness (which is very unusual here) and only the faint murmur of conversation and giggles from my amazing housemates can be heard. Occasionally the door bell rings, telling us there are some children at our door wanting candy. We give some of the love we have before we mention the unfortunate news: we have no candy. Halloween, I was always taught, was the devil's birthday, and being a Christian was never allowed nor interested in being apart of it. However, tonight there seems to be a peace, and even an excitement in the neighborhood as all the houses are surrounded with families enjoying the sharing of their neighbors. Maybe, I think to myself, the evilness of Halloween has been another thing the enemy has lied about, and Christians have believed, when in reality, its bonding time for families across America, and a chance for people to be generous and share something they've earned with those who haven't earned it. Of course I know there is a lot of witchcraft done on Halloween, probably more than on any other day, but the majority of the celebration is rather epic. Seems to me, a good day to see a nation saved.
I'm realizing the value of good relationships. It is very strange living in a place where there is not one person you have a history with. No one really knows you, and there is no one to go to to just relax and have fun. How valuable good, close relationships are! I'm realizing it is better to have fewer friends that you are in close relationship with, than a bunch of friends that you hardly know. And good relationships start with a value for the other person. If you go into any relationship for what you can get out of it, that relationship is already not worth having. Love must always be our highest priority. =) While these relationships are still growing, I hear God say, "I know you, Savannah" And my comfort is here: in the arms of Papa God. He knows me better than anyone ever could, and He is with me where ever I go! =D
Its been really easy to get self centered since being here. A lot of the school is discovering who you are, and becoming the person God dreamed you to be, so a lot of the time I tend to be focused on ME. I've learned so much about myself since being here. Its very exciting, but it seems like the more I think about myself the less I think about others, and this is not what I was made for at all. I has made to love others. The people I am continuously surrounded by are overdosed on love, and therefore who I am is not valued. My essence longs to love on those who don't know love! To call out the greatness in those who feel they don't have value!
Also, the heavy schedule, homework, and the lack of privacy, has left me very little intimate time with Papa God. This is left me very sad, to say the least, and the school is not worth losing this...so something has got to change. I don't have school for the next 4 days due to a conference hosted by Bethel Church, and I am very excited about that. I look forward to spending an entire day with Daddy. And then I'll find some love-starved people, and overflow on them unapologetically! haha
One thing that fills my schedule these days is an outreach called Sidewalk Sunday School. This is where a team of us(4-5 people) go out into an impoverished neighborhood and build relationships with children and their families in that neighborhood! Thankfully, this outreach is not limited to a day, and we can go hangout with them anytime we want, and even more good news: I'll start in 2 weeks! That will cure my stagnant love for sure!
Most of the time I feel like I'm wasting my time here, and most of the time I wonder why I'm here. All I want is to be madly in love with Jesus, and show the world who he is, and who they could be. Its that simple. Why do I need this school? Its very strange...90% of what is taught or spoken of at Bethel is a part of me, but but 90% of the time I don't feel like I'm being me. I feel like I'm putting up a show to please other's expectations. This must be the "culture" continually proudly spoken of here. And yet, strangely enough, I know this is where I need to be for now. There is comfort in knowing that God knows what hes doing, and that he works all things out for the good of those who love him! I don't expect them to come easily, but I expect great things!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The intern sang as the top of her voice as she began her prophetic song for an unsuspecting daughter of God. Not long into the song the intern charged off the stage, still singing, straight for the receiving princess. The intern touched her and the princess shook and collapsed to the floor by the power of God. The intern continued to sing her song into the microphone until her word was done, and then returned to the stage where prophecies continued for other people.
This is the nature of the school I attend, and I continually realize its the nature of God, as well. He is so radically in love with us, and when his passion comes out through his children, it is quite a sight to behold. To have the heart of God, with his passions, and his Holy Spirit inside of us is what we were made for and therefore its also quite an experience to experiance as well. Its what you were made for. Its joy unspeakable.
The first week of BSSM hasnt even ended yet, and I dont know what to say...God has been breaking me, and molding me, throughing out the bad, showing me the good, and now I'm at this of continueous surrender to him. I am continually reminded how young I am, and how very little I know. haha And its so wonderful! I have no idea what I am going to look like by the end of the school year! I dont even know what I WANT to look like by the end of the year. All I know is that I'm not going to look anything like I look now. All I know is that I cant afford to take my eyes off Jesus, or let go of his hand. I dont know how I'm going to pay my rent, or food...I dont know what I'm going to do when someone asks me to sing a prophetic word to someone else, or how I'm going to get all my homework done...all I know is that I'm running after the heart of God no matter what, and at whatever cost. Thats the only way I wont have any worries, and thats the only way I will be happy, and fufill my destiny. The only worry I have is not knowing God. If you dont know God, you wont know what hes doing and therefore wont be apart of it, and thats just the beginning. Thats the greatest fear i have right now. And that fear only comes from outside of love, because God is love.
So what will I be doing in the next 8mnths? What will I look like at the end of it all? How am I going to get through this?...I have no idea. but I am captivated by the one who does. haha! So in the next 8mnths I will be filling you in on how that goes. I expect great things.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Now I know what its like to dream bigger than your circomstances. God's been telling me to do this for a year. When we dream bigger than our circumstances we'll find possibilities we never knew. Because we have to live beyond the relm of reason, so that God can do the impossible through us. I have dreamed beyond my circumstances, and I have found myself with whole new circumstances. I now have a whole new reality and my dreams are getting bigger! I just didnt realize this would put me into such a state of shock. lol But the goodness of God is ever before me.
I have 7 housemates, who are all absolutly amazing, and I cant wait to get to know them better. However, I have to say I am quite releived that they are all out shopping today. Their constant chatter, no matter how much filled with grace and seasoned with salt, only prolongs my state of shock. I have two room mates. The first is Janneke, from Holland, and the second is Chanel, from S. Africa. Although both are a little hard to understand at times, they are wonderful girls who have a passion for the heart of God. I am the youngest in the house, but not by more than a couple months. The oldest, Janneke, is 24.
Today I rode my bike to Bethel Church. It is a 10-15min ride, depending on traffic. I think I will very much enjoy riding everyday. There is another girl here who rides a bike, but she is only staying for a couple days, until she finds somewhere eles to stay. She was renting a room somewhere, but she got kicked out because she was praying and speaking in tongues. Apparently, the renter was a Jahovah Wittness.
All my spirit wants to do is worship, and all my mind wants to do is rest and take everything in. Well, I am a spirit, so I guess I'll worship. =D
Monday, September 6, 2010
It was after Shakspear in the Park, and I decided I'd just hang out, and see if I could have some fun with people I might know there...ya know just spread a lot of joy, have fun, and maybe a lil' love..haha..to be honest I didnt want to spread too much love, because I know for that you have to sacrifice a lil' fun..haha..well the Holy Spirit inside of me had much different plans. =D So I go, and I cant find any attractive people that I can just have fun with...the only people I could find, that would acctually stay and hang with me, was this stonner, who couldnt talk about anything but booze and ecstacy. lol! So I'm hangin with him, and the HS get really excited inside of me! haha! and hes like
"I want to hug that kid" haha
so I went and gave him a hug, and......I couldnt get away from this kid! lol! Hes sittin there talkin about drugs and alcohol and probation, and all these horrible things that he loves, and I cant help but love him. Then this girl he was hangin' out with had to head home (walk home) so I walked with them as far as my car, and then I thought I should go home cause it was getting dark, and my mom, and I had to work tomorrow, ect...and as I went and got in my car and drove away, It felt like I was being torn away from the love of my life. I was tearing the HS away from the love of his life. We are one.
I didnt get very far. I HAD to go back and love on the kid some more. The HS couldnt stay away. So I parked and ran after them. Told them I just had to love on them some more. walked with them almost to the girl's house, and she says,
"Bob (being confidential for kid's sake), dont come near my house, because if my mom see you hanging with me, shes going to be really angry."
lol! so she leaves, and so I just tell him, that Jesus is so in love with him, and thats why I had to come back. So I could love on him some more..lol and hes like,
" oh, yeah, I love Jesus, too."
lol! So then I'm like, "well lets go to your house now"
, and he says something about a probation curfew...hes supose to be home by 10:00 and it was 9:30..lol and then hes like but my grandma says I can stay out till 12:00. lol! And hes like
" I'll walk witch ever way you need to go (compleate other side of the town from his house)
"are you sure?"
"yeah, dont worry, I'm really good at running from the cops."
lol! I didnt say anything, because I know people like him, they dont need good people to keep them "out of trouble" and in line with the law, they need people to show them the power and love of Jesus. lol! So we start walkin' and he's all tellin' me how marijuana is being grown everywhere in Fortine, and its dangerous to go exploring out there cause people could shoot you, but they have licences to grow. lol
I'm like," I know! everyone has licenses to grow and smoke now."Hes like "yeah, I was almost licensed. My doctor was going to give me a license, until her realized I was on probation, and so he said he'd give it to me when I get off probation." (this kid is 16)so I'm like," why was he gunna give you a license?"
"i have really bad back pain" he said.
"oh, well can I heal you?"
"haha..you can try.." (lol)
So I put my hand on his back and said "In Jesus name, pain go! Pain you have no more right to be in his back, so GO in Jesus name!" and ect. on similar stuff. =D
"does it hurt anymore?"
"whoa! that feels weird! It feels all numb!"
"thats Jesus healing you!" =D
lol! hes all movin around checkin' it out..."that feel really good!"
SO I start telling him the good news of Jesus! and that Jesus healed him because he loved him, and how he was healed, he was healed 2, 000yrs ago when Jesus died, the back pain is just the enemy, and Jesus lives inside of me, so I have the authority to tell it to leave..ect..good news. =D and hes like
"whoa! "Thank you, Jesus!"
haha..Wow. that was good! to hear him worship God. Thats what he was made for. =D haha..
haha..so hes all tellin me hes tryed EVERYTHING to heal his back, chiropractor, acupuncture, ...all this stuff, and he said up to that point marijuana was the only thing that made him feel better. Wow..first the enemy gives him this back pain, and then he gives him the only solution is a drug that will kill him. rrrrrrrr! thats just mean! Haha! and then the Holy Spririt comes, through me, and ruins everything..HAHa!
I gave him a ride to his house...I realize now I should have went in and met his grandma...and spread the kingdom...wow! How amazing that would have been! aarrrrrr!!!
i could sence the HS inside me was still sad to go...but my spirit had never felt to alive, refreshed! Like a genius who is hired as a grunt worker, running arrends and making copies ect, and is finally put into a position to use its genius-ness! And yet I know there is more! but wow! I've never felt soo much like a daughter of God! Never felt so much like a spirit! never felt so much like the enemy cant touch me...but more like he is compleatly TERRIFIED of me! I honestly dont think he can tell the difference between me and Jesus. HA! =D I've never felt more like I dont belong in a church! I acctually feel more like a princess on the steets loving on sinners than I do inside of a church doing the church thing. Its seems to me the bride of Christ is more likely to be found in the lowest places of the world, and among the least of these, rather than in a church building. Even as you look into the Gospels you will see that this is where Jesus was. I think Jesus feesl more at home on the streets than he does in church. We say we want to please God....Where does he want to go?...what does he want to do?
This isnt just for me. This is available to every person who beleives! =D Because those people have the Holy Spirit inside of them! Be aware of his presance! Dont live like hes not there..Hes always with you. Inside of you. Be AWAKENED! What I experienced is ment to be every beleivers reality. haha..It doesnt matter how you feel, it only matters what God says. Get into the word, and let its truth(not what u feel) become your reality. =D
Sunday, June 13, 2010
We went to Walmart last night after homegroup, there were about 6 of us, and we decided to stop talking and go out and DO.
So we got there, split up into teams of two and went after pretty much everybody in the store. When we had gotten there the fire alarms had been going off, but Andrew Walsh commanded them to stop, and of course the second the words left his mouth, the alarms cut off in the middle of their noise :)
So we hit up pretty much every person. Didn't see too much happen, but a couple people got healed. Had a back healed, headaches disappeared, pain in the feet leave, etc.
We are tired of simply talking, and listening to people talk. We are ready to simply DO.