Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Low-Down of the 1st Week

The intern sang as the top of her voice as she began her prophetic song for an unsuspecting daughter of God. Not long into the song the intern charged off the stage, still singing, straight for the receiving princess. The intern touched her and the princess shook and collapsed to the floor by the power of God. The intern continued to sing her song into the microphone until her word was done, and then returned to the stage where prophecies continued for other people.
This is the nature of the school I attend, and I continually realize its the nature of God, as well. He is so radically in love with us, and when his passion comes out through his children, it is quite a sight to behold. To have the heart of God, with his passions, and his Holy Spirit inside of us is what we were made for and therefore its also quite an experience to experiance as well. Its what you were made for. Its joy unspeakable.
The first week of BSSM hasnt even ended yet, and I dont know what to say...God has been breaking me, and molding me, throughing out the bad, showing me the good, and now I'm at this of continueous surrender to him. I am continually reminded how young I am, and how very little I know. haha And its so wonderful! I have no idea what I am going to look like by the end of the school year! I dont even know what I WANT to look like by the end of the year. All I know is that I'm not going to look anything like I look now. All I know is that I cant afford to take my eyes off Jesus, or let go of his hand. I dont know how I'm going to pay my rent, or food...I dont know what I'm going to do when someone asks me to sing a prophetic word to someone else, or how I'm going to get all my homework done...all I know is that I'm running after the heart of God no matter what, and at whatever cost. Thats the only way I wont have any worries, and thats the only way I will be happy, and fufill my destiny. The only worry I have is not knowing God. If you dont know God, you wont know what hes doing and therefore wont be apart of it, and thats just the beginning. Thats the greatest fear i have right now. And that fear only comes from outside of love, because God is love.
So what will I be doing in the next 8mnths? What will I look like at the end of it all? How am I going to get through this?...I have no idea. but I am captivated by the one who does. haha! So in the next 8mnths I will be filling you in on how that goes. I expect great things.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

When Green Becomes More Than Your Favorite Color

So here I am in Redding, CA. It's a much different world than I originally learned to live in. I feel like a Star Wars charector who was just transported into The Pirates of the Caribean, and yet, there is so much peace and excitement in my spirit, because I know this is where God wants me for now. But the fast pace of the city, the noice, the heat, and the polluted air I realize will be difficult to get used to. Up to this point its been very hard to relax, and to rest in the presance of God, eventhough I have plenty of time. Its just that everything is new, and a little overwhelming.
Now I know what its like to dream bigger than your circomstances. God's been telling me to do this for a year. When we dream bigger than our circumstances we'll find possibilities we never knew. Because we have to live beyond the relm of reason, so that God can do the impossible through us. I have dreamed beyond my circumstances, and I have found myself with whole new circumstances. I now have a whole new reality and my dreams are getting bigger! I just didnt realize this would put me into such a state of shock. lol But the goodness of God is ever before me.
I have 7 housemates, who are all absolutly amazing, and I cant wait to get to know them better. However, I have to say I am quite releived that they are all out shopping today. Their constant chatter, no matter how much filled with grace and seasoned with salt, only prolongs my state of shock. I have two room mates. The first is Janneke, from Holland, and the second is Chanel, from S. Africa. Although both are a little hard to understand at times, they are wonderful girls who have a passion for the heart of God. I am the youngest in the house, but not by more than a couple months. The oldest, Janneke, is 24.
Today I rode my bike to Bethel Church. It is a 10-15min ride, depending on traffic. I think I will very much enjoy riding everyday. There is another girl here who rides a bike, but she is only staying for a couple days, until she finds somewhere eles to stay. She was renting a room somewhere, but she got kicked out because she was praying and speaking in tongues. Apparently, the renter was a Jahovah Wittness.
All my spirit wants to do is worship, and all my mind wants to do is rest and take everything in. Well, I am a spirit, so I guess I'll worship. =D

Monday, September 6, 2010

I Fell In Love With A Sinner

Oh, my goodness I think I just discovered the meaning of LIFE! lol!

It was after Shakspear in the Park, and I decided I'd just hang out, and see if I could have some fun with people I might know there...ya know just spread a lot of joy, have fun, and maybe a lil' be honest I didnt want to spread too much love, because I know for that you have to sacrifice a lil' fun..haha..well the Holy Spirit inside of me had much different plans. =D So I go, and I cant find any attractive people that I can just have fun with...the only people I could find, that would acctually stay and hang with me, was this stonner, who couldnt talk about anything but booze and ecstacy. lol! So I'm hangin with him, and the HS get really excited inside of me! haha! and hes like

"I want to hug that kid" haha

so I went and gave him a hug, and......I couldnt get away from this kid! lol! Hes sittin there talkin about drugs and alcohol and probation, and all these horrible things that he loves, and I cant help but love him. Then this girl he was hangin' out with had to head home (walk home) so I walked with them as far as my car, and then I thought I should go home cause it was getting dark, and my mom, and I had to work tomorrow, ect...and as I went and got in my car and drove away, It felt like I was being torn away from the love of my life. I was tearing the HS away from the love of his life. We are one.

I didnt get very far. I HAD to go back and love on the kid some more. The HS couldnt stay away. So I parked and ran after them. Told them I just had to love on them some more. walked with them almost to the girl's house, and she says,

"Bob (being confidential for kid's sake), dont come near my house, because
if my mom see you hanging with me, shes going to be really angry."

lol! so she leaves, and so I just tell him, that Jesus is so in love with him, and thats why I had to come back. So I could love on him some and hes like,

" oh, yeah, I love Jesus, too."

lol! So then I'm like, "well lets go to your house now"

, and he says something about a probation curfew...hes supose to be home by 10:00 and it was and then hes like but my grandma says I can stay out till 12:00. lol! And hes like

" I'll walk witch ever way you need to go (compleate other side of the town from his house)

"are you sure?"

"yeah, dont worry, I'm really good at running from the cops."

lol! I didnt say anything, because I know people like him, they dont need good people to keep them "out of trouble" and in line with the law, they need people to show them the power and love of Jesus. lol! So we start walkin' and he's all tellin' me how marijuana is being grown everywhere in Fortine, and its dangerous to go exploring out there cause people could shoot you, but they have licences to grow. lol

I'm like," I know! everyone has licenses to grow and smoke now."Hes like "yeah, I was almost licensed. My doctor was going to give me a license, until her realized I was on probation, and so he said he'd give it to me when I get off probation." (this kid is 16)so I'm like," why was he gunna give you a license?"

"i have really bad back pain" he said.

"oh, well can I heal you?"

" can try.." (lol)

So I put my hand on his back and said "In Jesus name, pain go! Pain you have no more right to be in his back, so GO in Jesus name!" and ect. on similar stuff. =D

"does it hurt anymore?"

"whoa! that feels weird! It feels all numb!"

"thats Jesus healing you!" =D

"whoa...thats weird..."

lol! hes all movin around checkin' it out..."that feel really good!"

SO I start telling him the good news of Jesus! and that Jesus healed him because he loved him, and how he was healed, he was healed 2, 000yrs ago when Jesus died, the back pain is just the enemy, and Jesus lives inside of me, so I have the authority to tell it to leave..ect..good news. =D and hes like

"whoa! "Thank you, Jesus!"

haha..Wow. that was good! to hear him worship God. Thats what he was made for. =D haha.. hes all tellin me hes tryed EVERYTHING to heal his back, chiropractor, acupuncture, ...all this stuff, and he said up to that point marijuana was the only thing that made him feel better. Wow..first the enemy gives him this back pain, and then he gives him the only solution is a drug that will kill him. rrrrrrrr! thats just mean! Haha! and then the Holy Spririt comes, through me, and ruins everything..HAHa!

I gave him a ride to his house...I realize now I should have went in and met his grandma...and spread the! How amazing that would have been! aarrrrrr!!!

i could sence the HS inside me was still sad to go...but my spirit had never felt to alive, refreshed! Like a genius who is hired as a grunt worker, running arrends and making copies ect, and is finally put into a position to use its genius-ness! And yet I know there is more! but wow! I've never felt soo much like a daughter of God! Never felt so much like a spirit! never felt so much like the enemy cant touch me...but more like he is compleatly TERRIFIED of me! I honestly dont think he can tell the difference between me and Jesus. HA! =D I've never felt more like I dont belong in a church! I acctually feel more like a princess on the steets loving on sinners than I do inside of a church doing the church thing. Its seems to me the bride of Christ is more likely to be found in the lowest places of the world, and among the least of these, rather than in a church building. Even as you look into the Gospels you will see that this is where Jesus was. I think Jesus feesl more at home on the streets than he does in church. We say we want to please God....Where does he want to go?...what does he want to do?

This isnt just for me. This is available to every person who beleives! =D Because those people have the Holy Spirit inside of them! Be aware of his presance! Dont live like hes not there..Hes always with you. Inside of you. Be AWAKENED! What I experienced is ment to be every beleivers reality. haha..It doesnt matter how you feel, it only matters what God says. Get into the word, and let its truth(not what u feel) become your reality. =D